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Member Since 04 Feb 2009
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In Topic: [IRL] Official OT IRL Picture's

15 May 2016 - 09:15 PM

"i am on another plane of maturity that you are yet to be able to understand; only in a few years' time will you be able to comprehend my level of thinking"

In Topic: [IRL] Official OT IRL Picture's

13 May 2016 - 12:37 AM

trimmed the beard rip

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In Topic: Do you have male camaraderie in your life, junkie?

09 May 2016 - 11:19 PM

View PostThaya, on 09 May 2016 - 04:23 PM, said:

and lastly there's no right or wrong, good or bad; these concepts are so flexible and individual for every person, as well as you just can't know whether a certain decision was good or bad for you in the long run until way later. thus there's no reason to doubt your decisions/choices. this is key. doubting your decisions/choices is like doubting your personality. if you ever find yourself questioning that, you're probably not doing what you really want to do.

where there's no doubt, there's no fear. that's how my fear perished

to go off this, i've also found it's largely useless to sit around and depressingly regret past decisions. learning from mistakes is great, perfect even. but it's important to learn from them and move on and not to sit there wistfully thinking about what you fucked up and wishing you could change it and beating yourself up over things you did before

i think it's important to realize all decisions you made were made in a certain context of your life. unless it was a completely stupid decision that everyone obviously agrees on, you can give yourself some leeway knowing that whatever you did probably made sense back when you did it. you will change a lot over time and the contexts change and your way of thinking changes so you can't expect everything you've done previously to be something you're proud of years later

tangentially related, this is how i feel about tattoos that people regret. if you get a tattoo and later regret it, just think of it as a mark of your life in the past. it doesn't have to be something you still love or care about, just a souvenir of your past life

maybe my favorite quote related to the fear of failure thing is "you have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived." (the full quote is actually about falling in love but i like to make quotes into what i want them to be in situations like this.) there's no emptier feeling for me than approaching a situation, deeming it to be insurmountable, and walking away without trying. for me, that's the real failure

there's also "it's better to shit your pants than die of constipation" but that's a little less graceful

In Topic: Do you have male camaraderie in your life, junkie?

04 May 2016 - 10:12 PM

View PostAyrasaurus, on 04 May 2016 - 08:16 AM, said:

Vocoroo with a few extra words kids : http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LWJy64whIz

I got bored of typing

i relate a lot to the ordering everything online so you could avoid talking to people/cashiers etc thing

when i was a hopeless neet i'd do shit like that a lot. i'd avoid certain restaurants so i wouldn't have to explain my order or get it specialized in any way. anywhere like subway where i'd want to build my sub i just skipped because i didn't want that interaction. it's like when you avoid face to face human interaction for that long you become socially fearful or something

now i work in IT which you'd expect to be nerdland (and it can be) but you have to talk to people a lot. i have to work alongside people, i have to communicate well with end users, customers, clients etc. i used to be afraid of making a fucking phone call, had to get over that real fast.

just getting yourself out in the world and experiencing things will make you open up so much socially and just have a healthier mentality and personality

i really haven't felt this kind of personal independence before that i've felt in the last year. it's that small growing feeling that i'm really starting to make it, when i really REALLY doubted i ever was going to "make it" a few years ago. i had fucking nothing going for me 3-4 years ago, now i have a job i love in a field i love where i'm treated well and have already advanced my position, have my own income, my own vehicle, my own bills to pay... i'm not afraid to go out and do my own thing anymore, i'm not afraid to communicate with the world in person anymore

i used to be really scared of asking people questions. i didn't want to bother them. it wasn't long before i realized i wasn't going to make it doing that and i started asking any question i had. it carried over from work into all aspects of my life and it's been so beneficial. and unless you just have no situational awareness, people don't mind being asked questions at all for the most part. most people like the feeling of their expertise in something being needed

we're all always going to battle our own demons but i've come a great distance just from putting myself out there and trying something on a whim

In Topic: Decided that my favorite emotion is something like calm

30 April 2016 - 01:58 AM

"why don't you have a gf?"
"no idea, btw check out this 1080p 60fps video i recorded of flashing link lights in a pitch black room"