There is only one way when you should gem resil if you can't kite and los. But if you can't capable for that then you shouln't play hunter.
I agree on this - as hunter in 3v3 you mostly run with Aspect of iron hawk no matter what you face since it gives you 15% less damage taken(don't know how it scales with resi). Anyway, even if you gem full resi you'd still die if your healer is cc-ed for more than 10 seconds and you have no defensives left(like RoS/Deter) , whereas if you gem damage you'd pretty much have the same survival but deal bit of extra damage.
Moreover, when i play i hardly actually die even in long games where they mainly focus me. All you have to do is play a bit like a wizzard and abuse LoS and use CC(scatter/pet sleep) defensive untill you get some sort of cd back off cd and go out again.
Versus cleaves you'd die on second roll of cc on your healer since you'd have used almost all defensives by then anyway and the only way to prevent this is by simply forcing them go defensive instead(or by abusing LoS/ avoiding damage which can be done even in damage gems).