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Member Since 22 Jul 2011
Offline Last Active Oct 02 2014 01:42 AM

#4155188 Women you would settle down with. 10/10 perfection thread

Posted zzo on 25 June 2014 - 11:28 PM

View Postterribleperson, on 25 June 2014 - 11:25 PM, said:

are you ever not talking shit/arguing with someone? holy fuck.

yeah in ot im generally chill, in general i love arguing with people, just that guy is some druid who got boosted to 2.2, presumably to post on aj, then namechanged and server transferred, whilst pretending to be some 2.2 druid on aj, he's now 1600, just always a good chuckle to see how they respond when u call them out

#4155035 Opinion on WoD, Whos Looking the best?

Posted Esiwdeer on 25 June 2014 - 09:32 PM

I will agree that EU > US. The simple size of the European Union(including Russia and, until sort of recently parts of Africa) is greater than that of the basic, mainland United States.

I only think we're better in terms of technology, courage, fighting skill, World of Warcraft, women, elegance and poise. You guys definitely have us on sheer size, though.

Although not in penis size, I should add, according to recent scientific studies.

#4143959 What's up with General?

Posted Sykeasaurus on 16 June 2014 - 02:17 AM

you want another fucking infraction? push me, pussy, see what happens

#4144652 I need serious advise, help.

Posted Esiwdeer on 16 June 2014 - 07:58 PM

View PostReliuna, on 16 June 2014 - 07:49 PM, said:

im not gonna read this post of urs but im sure ur ejaculation speed is in top 10 of AJ, not just AJOT.

in out in ejaculate - reedwise
You know, your whole vibe was working for me until you revealed yourself to be sexually inexperienced, which I find to be sort of gross.


Who really cares about the duration of sex? Intensity, passion, fervor and enthusiasm are kings, even for homosexuals who choose to take average handsomeness and then, for some reason, make it look like a clown.

"I'm averagely handsome.. the best way to flaunt this is to look like a clown." - Reliuna, 2014


#4142294 On Relationships/Reedwise AMA

Posted Esiwdeer on 14 June 2014 - 06:32 AM

I have honestly been with women I felt I was in love with hours after being with someone else. I would say do it, and think about it as little as possible. Stuff like that has a sort of half-life for me like, the first time is really good, the second time is half as good, the third time might as well not happen.

Plus, if they know you have a girlfriend at the onset of your relationship a girl in her twenties is really likely to go insane if things take a turn for the worst. I think cheating on someone gives you insight into yourself that is hard to get otherwise. Also, from a certain viewpoint you're made happier by fucking an 8 and then you feel guilty, leading you to try harder in your real relationship afterwards. If she never knows, who is the victim? It is pretty much entirely positive.

And this should go without saying, but doesn't: wrap your shit up. No matter what, seriously. No matter what you think about her, no matter what she tells you: an "8 in the gym" probably hasn't always been an 8, and she's probably experimenting with her newfound confidence as well. People really do get pregnant, people really do get HIV, people really do get chlamydia and a host of other diseases. Giving something like this to your girlfriend is like, pretty much the worst thing you could ever do.

There are actually books from the 60s that are like, self-help books for men that suggest having an affair. That line in Orange is the New Black about how the trick with women is to meet them 10-15% of the way and make them think you're meeting them 50% of the way. I dunno man, having an affair can be really cathartic like a vacation, or something.

I'd say go for it and don't look back.

#4142069 On Relationships/Reedwise AMA

Posted midney on 14 June 2014 - 12:29 AM

View Postterribleperson, on 13 June 2014 - 11:51 PM, said:

Let's bring this back on topic.


Respectable dude with a girlfriend finds himself the center of female attention more often than not as of late. He's never really had trouble with women, at least not in the classic sense. Anyway, guy gets a haircut and grows some facial hair and now these chicks are all over him whenever he's out, making flirtatious advances and propositions. He runs into a solid 8 at the gym who is undeniably into him, and, thus, finds himself in a predicament he's not quite familiar with. never before has he been tempted to stray, and everything in his right mind tells him not to, but the primal urge rumbles deep from within.

He is torn. what does he do?

as people have said the physicality of sex is often overstated its really not the be all and end all. like this girl could be crap in bed and you could ruin your relationship, i dunno but if he values his relationship and is happy i don't think it really is worth it

#4142018 On Relationships/Reedwise AMA

Posted Swapnames on 13 June 2014 - 11:55 PM

View Postterribleperson, on 13 June 2014 - 11:51 PM, said:

He is torn. what does he do?

#4141766 On Relationships/Reedwise AMA

Posted Esiwdeer on 13 June 2014 - 09:46 PM

View PostNickmyluts, on 13 June 2014 - 09:32 PM, said:

Reedwise can u give some tips to set up tinder profile? Im too scared to aproach women in the streets

First thing's first: the most attractive ratio for a man to women is, classically, his shoulder to waist ratio. Ideally, I believe you want to be somewhere around 3:1 shoulder:waist. This is accomplished in a lot of ways, but shoulders are actually probably one of the easiest things to lift from home due to their comparatively weak lifting ability.

I'd suggest starting out with a simple bodybuilding plan, and working shoulders on the same day you work chest twice a week. Once you get some definition, I'd start experimenting with photos.

You don't need to be shirtless or even buff, really - this is a turnoff for some women. You do need to demonstrate your shoulder:waist ratio and present a symmetrical face, however - hygiene is the next big thing. Well, actually style is the next big thing if you think Tapout shirts or incoherence is appropriate. If you aren't an idiot, however, and simply dress in a manner that people don't think is retarded, the next thing is hygiene.

A clean, symmetrical face on a man with a 3:1 shoulder to waist ratio and then a basically confident profile and your own car is a recipe for vaginal destruction. Don't type like a moron through text. Don't type phonetically; use "you" instead of "u" and don't use emoticons more than or until she does. You don't have to write like me, but you do have to write properly. Use syntax and grammar, but don't go overboard. Be intelligible and formal, but not stiff or overly-punctuated. It's a fine balance. Leave her with lots of questions when you communicate through text - there's something pleasing about getting a question from someone you're interested in.


Finally, the most common fantasy that anyone of any orientation has about men is giving them oral sex. This is a great place to start for several reasons: for one, women are more likely to provide you with oral sex on a first date because it doesn't impact their whole balance with nature: she doesn't have to get her tits out or let anyone see her vagina, so she's likely to go for it.

It's sort of scumbag, but there's a point where you can just be a dick about it and a girl who is new to you will tolerate it. Once you're comfortable enough, I'd start out just getting blowjobs in my car. This is a great place to learn to have disposable partners - a great place to learn to inspect people for cleanliness(risk to your genitalia)

The best, though, is learning to cross the point of no return. Like, someone you've never touched before.. that moment when you put your hand on the back of her head and reveal your penis. You have to have the same attitude about your penis that I have about mine when you first reveal it. Like, "look how fucking cool this is" and then you just sort of suggest with your hand that her head goes in that direction.

That moment when you're just sitting in a car with a girl you've never done anything with and you decide it's time. You get good at just like, making them do it without actually making them - lots of women, especially with fewer partners over their lifetime, are going to not rush into something unless it's heavily suggested. Do not go 50 Shades of Grey and try to dominate someone straight off - girls will tell you no, leave your car in disgust, etc. In my experience, every woman who has been interested in dating me would also provide me with oral sex and, in my experience, women are most enthusiastic about doing it the first couple times - just let nature take its course, she's going to try to impress you.

This is a recipe for tremendously great nights. Plus, if you're nervous about maintaining an erection during sex or any other aspect of performance the blowjob eliminates it since she'll be doing all the work.


You have to think about it from the other perspective, though - it keeps you in control if you choose to go forward and it meshes with all my previous advice. She sucks your dick, you get off, you are jovial and relaxed the rest of the time together and then you just don't contact her. What is she supposed to do? She's invested - what was initially a good gambit (trading giving oral sex for actual intimacy, they unwillingly sacrifice not having to expose their nude bodies or really any sort of intimacy during the sex act for basically investing in your relationship by giving you oral sex - something that will make her feel less valuable and, thus, more likely to be thinking about you the next day while you're not contacting her at all - perfect storm.)

That seems manipulative, but it isn't. She wants someone who makes her feel less valuable. We all do. None of us masturbate to fucking girls less attractive than us; we get off to porn stars, women who are hotter than anything that exists in real life. We all want partners who makes us feel that way.


Only because I care about giving sound advice, your role in beginner/amateur sex should be that of a vengeful arbiter. You should never really express yourself in one-night-stand type sex. I know this sounds super reserved, but it isn't. You'll see if you actually follow through with it; that first time a girl just like, loses control of herself on top of you'll be like "wow that was unattractive"

Just watch them and make it like, I don't know, not romantic but.. dramatic, maybe. Let them know that you like it - that's the biggest thing women are looking for in 99% of their sexual expression: reaction. If they do something you know they perceived to be enthusiastic or special in the context of the blowjob, reward them with a noise of elation - be yourself, obviously. Anyway, I'm trying to say you don't need to dominate them to get good head - they'll be enthusiastic and experimental enough just from your confidence and the gambit they don't yet know they're making.

Anyway, that's where you start. You should do that and get back to me.

#4134998 The "Funny Picture" thread

Posted Kawklee on 04 June 2014 - 10:11 PM


#4138907 So I got rejected

Posted Esiwdeer on 10 June 2014 - 07:10 PM

On topic, breakups objectively suck worse for men than they do for women. I think the simplest solution is to discover precisely why that is so you might be able to assuage your suffering.

How's your support system? In my experience, men who take break ups the hardest are the ones who are reclusive. Also in my experience, the women who end up actually dumping their partners only do so after sage advice from their mother, friends, etc. I have met like, 3 women ever that arrived at a decision like that and carried it out all on their own.

It does suck to know someone knew a great deal about you and still rejected it, but as some of the other posters mentioned it does "get better." - whether that means you get better relatively or subjectively, I am not sure but eventually you will start to feel better about it.

As far as grieving goes, you should do it. The worst break up I ever had like, ever took me about 8 months to entirely process and get over. I made a thread sort of about this recently if you'd like to check it out.

If it were me, I'd grieve and learn to "overcome the vices and infirmities of those whom we subdue" which includes your past self and her in your past relationship. Allow yourself the proper time to mourn the loss of the relationship and then consolidate and reorganize. Rebound sex isn't the answer, it'll end up just like drugs or any other cowardly way out. Just face it, deal with it, don't humiliate yourself and move on.


If you live your life like, in a decent way and you're proud of what you have to show, you'll get another chance later. Every woman who has ever broken things off with me always ends up giving me another chance somehow. That's the most insight I can give into the situation: going from wishing a woman wouldn't leave to having her again, not wanting her and knowing you can do better - once you know yourself that way, no relationship can harm you.

Are you the person you want to be? Was she the person you wanted to spend your life with? The most common reason, in my experience, is that the guy thinks she's like, the hottest girl he's capable of keeping long term. Like dudes that have the attitude about starter wives and whatever else - you can't think like that. You really can find someone better. You really can make a better life in spite of her if for no other reason.

Finally, at least you're getting all your psychological growing pains out of the way now. Most women who spend their twenties in a few long term relationships don't mature until their early 30s. Having few partners, having little or no idea how to manage life, finances, etc, being out of shape or not taking care of themselves. Entangling those women is like fishing with dynamite.

Honestly dude, if it were me and I was having a really hard time I'd start taking testosterone and working out twice a day. The difference in the way you perceive women when you are and are not taking testosterone is like, night and day. During a cycle I don't give a fuck about women and it makes me like, irresistible which is convenient because I greatly want to have sex with these terrible, frustrating & treacherous creatures.

I feel for your breakup and rejection and hope you learn to view them both as opportunities. You can get a hotter girl, and find a more fulfilling path in life. Oh yeah, and later on you can be like, happy with yourself and content with everything, so there's that.

Keep your head up,


#4117718 The boy and friend problem.

Posted Breadstick on 11 May 2014 - 05:45 AM

uh no she's obviously not someone you'd get in a relationship with since she's (probably) a cheating bitch so one night or so with her isn't worth ruining a friendship (or causing a problem with your friend at least)

#4128545 On Relationships/Reedwise AMA

Posted Braindance on 27 May 2014 - 05:41 AM

View Postglonglon, on 27 May 2014 - 05:34 AM, said:


#4128104 On Relationships/Reedwise AMA

Posted Esiwdeer on 26 May 2014 - 03:54 PM

Greetings, Off Topic! I just sort of realized some of this this morning and, since I am not actually a scientific researcher, I shall publish it here.

Of late I've been tremendously interested in new theories regarding information. I am of the opinion that there is no master sum of information - no list with all the correct dates, times, events; everything that ever happened involving more than one person actually happened at least twice, or one time for each person witnessing the event.

As a heterosexual male, growing up I always found that my job was just a little bit harder. For example, there was neither a way to gauge my penis size in my formative years nor was there a way to escape the several years of having an awkward physical appearance. Middle school ended, I learned that my penis was, while perhaps a little above average in size and girth isn't defined by its physics - my penis has some sort of je ne sais quoi, in my opinion, which before this morning I wasn't able to quantify.

I know many of you will think I am trolling, or whatever, but I've had a little over 400 independent female sexual partners at this point. I am 26 years old, I am not an adonis, I don't have tremendous status and I am not extremely rich. I am writing this morning to other men who, despite also having average circumstances, long to see their penis engaged in battle betwixt many a fine, healthy female body part.


In investing, decisions are made by a smattering of real information and an entire mental network of paranoia and "what if" scenarios. Even the most expert and most genius investor can only garner so much from company research and copious statistics. Economies change, because times change - change is the only constant.

It is possible to perceive information and act on it in a way that gives you an advantage - but did you really have the advantage? Your brain is programmed to see patterns, perhaps you made a decision and randomly got the results you wanted? Perhaps you made the right decision. Perhaps the outcome would have been the same if you made no decision at all. You need to remember this: every human has special information available to them and them alone (life experience plus actual awareness, entirely unique point of view) and with that information, only they can make the best decision. The essence of capitalism.

What I'm writing to you about is this: confidence. In the business of your penis' glory, you can't go into debt. You don't have liabilities. You can make costly mistakes, but they're easy enough to avoid. You have absolutely no risk. The worst thing that can happen to you is rejection. You can't have a bad quarter, you can't lose profits, you can't lose a budget - there's no complex risk to the decisions your penis leads you to make.

But what is the profit? In 2013, a major power supplier throughout California decided to schedule its yearly maintenance an entire quarter early for who knows why, and energy traders everywhere poised to clean house when the shortages started rolling in. Dealing with shortages takes a lot of work, and the trader himself is often in front of a screen for every single minute of the 8 hours he's allowed.

Profit comes from action taken based on knowledge available to a limited number of people. The trader in question used information available to a lot of people to turn an expected profit. I used this information to start chatting up his girlfriend on Facebook and then going to visit her in Malibu when he flew to New York to purchase a celebratory Mercedes.


So, what's the difference? Here I am, penis deep inside of a woman who has spent at least the last 15 years taking wonderful care of herself. Not a hair out of place, or where it shouldn't be. Surprisingly ample breasts, some sort of ass masterpiece - yoga, pilates plus whatever the hell Persian is, holy shit.

But why? What is it about me that makes me capable of this? Why is this even possible? My face is symmetrical, I suppose. I'm fit. But I'm really not the most eligible man in Los Angeles and certainly not the best she could do, so what gives?

Relationships are complicated. I'd love to break it down so that each thrust was an individual investment, but the truth is I'm the company, she's the investor.


Sorry for writing so much - I am achieving academia at astounding speed and I just wanted to share something. In a free market, there is no controlling force nor sum of information. Even someone with every single piece of information would not be able to rationally guess what the best move was. Therefore, we must accept that no sum of information exists. Hence, one cannot just be an "alpha" like, there isn't a list of criterion you must meet.

Like Peter Pan, you have to believe in yourself. You have to have the confidence in your business, you have to be able to sell yourself. I have personally stood on the battlefield of Gaugamela, where Alexander earned his most important victory, I have jumped from airplanes, seen tremendous combat, I have experienced true love - a world of humbling experiences, all of them paling in comparison to their ready, nubile bodies awaiting my conquest.

In closing, the "game" or the market or whatever you want to call the thing that goes on between men and women between 23-33 is whatever you make of it. If you see it like they have all the supply and you have all the demand, you're doing it wrong. If you want to fuck whoever you want, it has to be your market. It could be a buyer's market, a seller's market, a crashing market - as long as you win, who gives a shit?

Women are like... dudes, who have never had any problem getting girls. Most women still have like, that curiosity like they're still, I don't know, growing up or whatever. Girls are also dumb as fuck about sex, just like men.

I just wanted to let you guys know.

1) Never talk about yourself without being asked(this has actually been taught in charm school for like 200 years, it isn't classy to start a conversation with anything other than a question about the other person.)
2) Never initiate contact with a girl you haven't fucked somehow UNLESS it has been more than 5 days since last contact
3) Desperation. The last rule is just desperation. No matter what you do to a girl like, make her drip or fuck her so well she forgot what happened yesterday - literally, no matter how well things are going with a woman if she ever even gets a hint of desperation, her mind will start the process of separating her from you.

It's business. If your business needs her to survive, what the fuck is the point? This is what P Diddy is always talking about "going into the dark, where it's lonely" - you have to do this shit by yourself. If you need more than you're getting emotionally, have an affair. Do whatever it takes so that you're never the weaker one in the relationship. This is the essence of chivalry and self-control.

I am not writing this to like, pander to my normal audience who likes trolling. If you feel like the traditions of society aren't rational to you, and like getting women just doesn't make sense try applying my techniques. Start out slow, talk to girls on Skype, post some pictures of something reasonably attractive on Tinder. I have a higher than 80% chance - actually calculated, mind you - of fucking a girl once we're texting. It's just like any card game - you just want to increase your chances of winning over a long period of time.

Your job in the universe isn't fair, men. You are tasked with hunting, fighting, dying, going to fucking outer space, having some innate competitive instinct - fuck that, man. I didn't sign up for any of this shit. There's enough tail for all of us, gents. I hope this post will help just one person become an alpha, so that you may look down on the rest of men buying height increasing shoes and hair plugs with disdain.


Women are treacherous and beautiful. Confuse them, seduce them, fuck them, and don't depend on them or allow them to depend on you. I vow on every atom of matter in the universe that if you follow my advice, you'll pull tail.

I am going to turn this thread into an AMA since I have decided to move to off-topic, because the rest of the website is about kitchens now. I hope you all enjoy learning about me as much as I enjoy offering my parallax on the problem of women.


#4137641 is sexting cheating?

Posted Wrathful on 08 June 2014 - 11:43 PM


Sorry, your post must be at least 2 word(s) long.

#4081531 Billian's problems with girls [drizzy fanclub thread] [~*~<3drizzy~dr...

Posted Neitey on 16 March 2014 - 11:27 PM

It's a freudian slip, he mentally finished the sentence with "why the fuck am I still a virgin?"