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Member Since 09 Apr 2011
Offline Last Active Oct 04 2015 06:49 AM

Topics I've Started

Your Tournament Sucks.

17 February 2015 - 07:46 AM

The "Gamers League Live: Battle of the Atlantic" tournament was a terrifying experience of intolerable length, embarrassingly encapsulated by my moments spent bickering with its amateur administration. One of those involved a lisp-bearing, Tourette's-like shoutcaster, "Desecration" and his English second language counterpart Reinhart (you don't see Azael shoutcasting Bleached Bones in Russian) inventing the phrase "texture healing" mid-series in my Team's victorious Eye of the Storm vs Abn. Such is shameful stupidity.

If you all want to save yourself the time waste, go into a McDonald's kitchen, cue up Skrillex playing the dubstep of hell, and grab a minimum wage employee to bang pots and pans together. Now shut your eyes and use your imagination to narrate each battleground. Congratulations. You've surpassed them. Faint praise indeed; however, as they are dumb as bricks. Their appearance looked like Abn's throw-up. They clog their Skype calls with incomprehensible, meaningless verbal flops. Clearly, they know as much about battleground strategy as they do fornicating with women.

Look, I am bitter. I hate being wronged. And yet, please don't misunderstand. This post is not merely to vent and name call the amateurish organizers. What transpired during the tournament was crass, despicable, and sums up everything toxic that the community has become.

Conflicted that I quit the tournament early, I looked to the audience as a reality check. I was reassured: "That texture healing rule has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard" (Novoz); "I'm sorry for what happened to you and your team today, despite our past, it was unfair, and I'm sorry I couldn't do more to make it fair (Magnusz, Tournament Referee); "They are dumb. Why not just ban grip knocks in the mid. How the fuck is that exploitation? Its designed that way"; (Athlete); "Like watching paint dry while getting caved in the face with a baseball bat" (Rawkus); "This must be the worst tournament I have ever experienced" (Rynd).
It's certainly the worst something.

Abn Ghosting Stream: https://www.youtube....h?v=ib6swi5KWaQ

Abn watching their zero-delay live stream: http://i.imgur.com/kdjRi1B.jpg

Of "Texture Healing" and Bias: http://www.twitch.tv...ers/b/624983332

Responses to "texture healing": "That's our mistake" (Imbajohn); "That doesn't matter" (Nickolas); "We can do the same thing" (Zumoch); "You can still grip-knock there" (Datacus).

Corrupt Admin: "If you would have even lost that match, I would have replayed it. . . I wish you win against Bailamos, as personal, not judge . . . we will stall in your favor guys. Just don't tell Bailamos that we're stalling for you because he's gonna give a shit show" (Reinhart).

Last Version of Rule Book (they deleted theirs, of course): http://pastebin.com/Km88kFn3

Referee Interview: https://www.dropbox....oWRecording (10).mp4?dl=0

Tournament EU Admin: http://i.imgur.com/1yDkTyV.png