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Do you have male camaraderie in your life, junkie?


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#1 Buglamp

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 01:49 AM

https://en.wikipedia...ki/Male_bonding


In ethology and social science, male bonding is the formation of close personal relationships, and patterns of friendship or cooperation between males.

In the context of human relationships, male bonding is used to describe friendship between men, or the way in which men befriend each other. The expression is sometimes used synonymously with the word camaraderie. The first widely noticed use of the term was in Men in Groups (1969; 2004) by anthropologist Lionel Tiger.

Male bonding takes place in various locations such as gyms, locker rooms, sport fields or courts, fraternities, and barbershops. Anthropologists at Germany's University of Göttingen found out, by studies on the Barbary macaques (an ape which exhibits humanlike social behaviour) that spending more time with other males relieved their stress levels and reduced stress-related illnesses, and may do so in humans as well.


I can't say I really ever have had a good sense of this. I played sports but never really became close with my team mates - maybe 1-2 friends. Also went to summer camp and they divided us into animal named groups, but I was more popular with the girls than the guys - even those in my own group.

One year at camp I kind of screwed my chance of good relationships up because of the canoeing though(I thought ramming people with my canoe was amazing but they didn't care for it), but the year before I had no excuses.

I can sort of appreciate the whole male camaraderie thing in media where it's romanticized to some degree but I've never really been a "bro" type IRL.
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#2 Thaya

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 04:07 AM

hmm

there's very few people i actually use the word 'friend' for, and one of them i got to know from playing 2v2 arena with him in wow. that was in s5 and s6 so many years ago now and we haven't really played games or 'worked' together on anything since then (not anything as 'big' as our 2v2 anyway), yet the relationship still evolved from teammates/partners into close friends

anyway, when i think back about it, the image i got in my head is like we've been to war together. i can rely on him and trust him because i know exactly how he acts in stressful situations (cuz we've been thru many), and it works the same vice versa. furthermore, i can say the same thing about a few other people i've played with in wow; although none of them really became personal friends, they're still people i wouldn't mind "going to war with" because i know they're reliable and trustable. i guess this is what you'd call a comrade or a 'bro'?

the wow examples are pretty lame yeah but from what i understand this is just something that develops when you interact with people all the time or even involve with them in certain activities (i.e. the sports examples). i guess i'm not really the 'bro' type either tho because in my mind teammates are just teammates (not necessarily bros), people in gym are just people in gym (imo this is a bad example in general cuz you're not even a "team" in gyms, you just come, do your thing and leave), etc.

on the other hand though, all of my irl friends (all 3 of them, heh) are from university or school, and its largely thanks to us being part of the same classes and stuff that we became friends in the first place. just the whole '5 years of seeing these dudes almost every day of the week' thing played a pretty big role. its only one point of many by now though, but honestly, if i didn't HAVE to contact, interact and work with these people every day over such a long period of time, i probably would've never known them well enough to develop any kind of bond with them

i don't really understand the subject of discussion tbh not even the wikipedia page helps. it's pretty vague
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#3 Thaya

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 04:41 AM

i could say some of you ajot pricks are 'bros' to me actually
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#4 Thaya

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 04:50 AM

like, if you come to russia and get all of your shit stolen or whatever, hit me up
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#5 Fedx

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 04:14 PM

idk if I understood the discussion completely aswell but I think I got it. Maybe you have to have experienced it to understand it.

I always played sports my whole life and in every sport you built this "connection" with the boys. I don't see them as my close friends or w/e just "bros" like you say I guess. And nowadays we have grown up a bit so a lot of us quit sports but we still go to the gym and see eachother every now and then and then it's the same talk. An example of a topic we would talk about is like "Did you watch Barca vs Real yesterday?" or "There's been rumors about Zlatan going to England" etc. You get the point. - Football (soccer) talk for example.

So it's very weird because these people, I guess I consider them friends, we talk about stuff that I wouldn't talk about with my "actual friends" or w/e and vice versa. I don't talk "bro talk" with them. And if I ran into these people in public we could probably only talk about that kinda stuff. Nothing about whats going on in school or some other deep talk. So yeah it's weird
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#6 Twaenkz

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 06:32 PM

Have 1 bro in my life, first friend I had when I moved to sweden, been bros since then.
Done alot of shit together and Im not gonna lie its kind of a bromance.

But hes the only one, I cant develop that sort of relationship with any other friend I meet or have had the past years
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#7 Nicholaes92

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 08:08 PM

I honestly didn't know so many people didn't? I mean you're a guy, your main form understanding and common feelings are going to be from other guys (your friends). I mean honest question, no troll, how can you live a life and NOT have this?
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i'm not your average aj user bro you're gonna have to up you game little boy.

Also tread lightly my friend, you dont know who you are talking to ;)

who the fuck do u think you are, random fucking nobody, u dont deserve any of my time/effort retard. "tell me that a blizzcon" srsly? great fucking insult m9. dont even talk to me


#8 Ayrasaurus

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Posted 03 May 2016 - 08:56 PM

I honestly didn't know so many people didn't? I mean you're a guy, your main form understanding and common feelings are going to be from other guys (your friends). I mean honest question, no troll, how can you live a life and NOT have this?


You exist

Not live
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#9 Nicholaes92

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 01:02 AM

You exist

Not live


Ouch. But for real if I move somewhere where I had no friends I would find a golfing buddy or a drinking buddy I couldn't stand just not having a friendly relationship with someone
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i'm not your average aj user bro you're gonna have to up you game little boy.

Also tread lightly my friend, you dont know who you are talking to ;)

who the fuck do u think you are, random fucking nobody, u dont deserve any of my time/effort retard. "tell me that a blizzcon" srsly? great fucking insult m9. dont even talk to me


#10 Buglamp

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 03:12 AM

I have a dog at least
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#11 Ayrasaurus

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 08:16 AM

Ouch. But for real if I move somewhere where I had no friends I would find a golfing buddy or a drinking buddy I couldn't stand just not having a friendly relationship with someone



It's a weird topic to talk about. It's really something you don't realize until you're not alone anymore.

I was very popular throughout highschool and had a large amount of mates, friends and bros. Played semi-professional football and was in athletic academies etc. Basically the breeding grounds of bro and lad culture.I was the typical jock if that is a thing in England. However when I first finished high school I went straight into work I pretty much lost all of this and spent my days playing WoW etc. Eventually losing contact with my friends. I didn't even notice that I didn't have this (granted I still talked to people on Skype etc) but I had 0 friends and 0 mates (people you occasionally talk to) and was pretty much a loner. I assumed this was fine and actually just substituted my lack of real life relationships with books, tv series's, games and other internet bullshit. I was blissfully unaware for most the time I spent alone however every now and then I'd see something on TV or online of a bunch of lads having fun or just men hanging out and it would hit me that I literally don't have a single friend. I always thought that was wrong, however I'd just end up fapping to a bailey jay thread and shit posting and the feeling would go away.

When I hit 20 I realized that I'm kinda pissing my life up the wall and decided to go back to the gym and get in shape, I met some cool guys there who I bonded and played sport with, this in turn motivated me to actually drag my ass back to Uni/get a decent job/get girls (I had not had sex or even kissed a girl at that point for almost two years). What I understood is the moment I started making friends and surrounding myself with positive male influences and competition so to speak I began to push my self to become (in my opinion) a much better person. The few years I spent basically on 4chan and WoW 14 hours a day I pretty much fucked up all my social skills and become disjointed from the real world. I seriously believe that if I did not make any new friends at the gym in the first few weeks I went I would have just gone back to existing and not actually having a life. Personally I believe that these sort of friendships (male only circles) or atleast a positive male best friend is crucial to becoming a well rounded and functioning adult. No I do not mean functioning as in a robot or wagecuck/slave mentality but just to harbor decent social skills and motivate you to actually get the fuck out of bed/your computer chair.

To put it simply. It is not romantised in any way, shape or form. Sure we can all live alone but without it you end up turning out pretty damaged/beta (for lack of a better word). Yes correlation is not always causation however the very moment I started making friends I started making a shit ton of positive changes in my life and now I'm somewhere where I'm relatively happy to be. Lately I have been cutting down my friend circle though and only hang out with around five guys. All of which train like me, are self-employed or in decent grad jobs and travel a lot with me/love pulling a cheeky foreign bird (=====

Longest post I have probably ever wrote lads.

Vocoroo with a few extra words kids : http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LWJy64whIz

I got bored of typing

Edited by Ayrasaurus, 04 May 2016 - 08:25 AM.

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#12 Nicholaes92

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 01:57 PM

It's a weird topic to talk about. It's really something you don't realize until you're not alone anymore.

I was very popular throughout highschool and had a large amount of mates, friends and bros. Played semi-professional football and was in athletic academies etc. Basically the breeding grounds of bro and lad culture.I was the typical jock if that is a thing in England. However when I first finished high school I went straight into work I pretty much lost all of this and spent my days playing WoW etc. Eventually losing contact with my friends. I didn't even notice that I didn't have this (granted I still talked to people on Skype etc) but I had 0 friends and 0 mates (people you occasionally talk to) and was pretty much a loner. I assumed this was fine and actually just substituted my lack of real life relationships with books, tv series's, games and other internet bullshit. I was blissfully unaware for most the time I spent alone however every now and then I'd see something on TV or online of a bunch of lads having fun or just men hanging out and it would hit me that I literally don't have a single friend. I always thought that was wrong, however I'd just end up fapping to a bailey jay thread and shit posting and the feeling would go away.

When I hit 20 I realized that I'm kinda pissing my life up the wall and decided to go back to the gym and get in shape, I met some cool guys there who I bonded and played sport with, this in turn motivated me to actually drag my ass back to Uni/get a decent job/get girls (I had not had sex or even kissed a girl at that point for almost two years). What I understood is the moment I started making friends and surrounding myself with positive male influences and competition so to speak I began to push my self to become (in my opinion) a much better person. The few years I spent basically on 4chan and WoW 14 hours a day I pretty much fucked up all my social skills and become disjointed from the real world. I seriously believe that if I did not make any new friends at the gym in the first few weeks I went I would have just gone back to existing and not actually having a life. Personally I believe that these sort of friendships (male only circles) or atleast a positive male best friend is crucial to becoming a well rounded and functioning adult. No I do not mean functioning as in a robot or wagecuck/slave mentality but just to harbor decent social skills and motivate you to actually get the fuck out of bed/your computer chair.

To put it simply. It is not romantised in any way, shape or form. Sure we can all live alone but without it you end up turning out pretty damaged/beta (for lack of a better word). Yes correlation is not always causation however the very moment I started making friends I started making a shit ton of positive changes in my life and now I'm somewhere where I'm relatively happy to be. Lately I have been cutting down my friend circle though and only hang out with around five guys. All of which train like me, are self-employed or in decent grad jobs and travel a lot with me/love pulling a cheeky foreign bird (=====

Longest post I have probably ever wrote lads.

Vocoroo with a few extra words kids : http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LWJy64whIz

I got bored of typing


Man idk maybe it was just because I was from a different environment. I grew up in a fairly small town. My graduating class was 32. And you made friends with everyone you could so I still have a lot of childhood friends I talk to. And when I went to college I kind of brought the mentality of "make friends with everyone you can" with me. So now I have a handful of friends who I know everything about and they know everything about me. Even when I was hardcore into wow, I HAD to go out on weekends if something was going on or I would feel like shit. So idk I guess I can't see myself having no one to talk to or go golfing with if I wanted to.
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i'm not your average aj user bro you're gonna have to up you game little boy.

Also tread lightly my friend, you dont know who you are talking to ;)

who the fuck do u think you are, random fucking nobody, u dont deserve any of my time/effort retard. "tell me that a blizzcon" srsly? great fucking insult m9. dont even talk to me


#13 Twaenkz

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 06:23 PM

I listened to the whole vocaroo, just thought id let you know, your effort did not go unheard.

and yes I did question myself too why I did like you said at the end of it.

Edited by Twaenkz, 04 May 2016 - 06:26 PM.

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#14 Breadstick

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Posted 04 May 2016 - 10:12 PM

Vocoroo with a few extra words kids : http://vocaroo.com/i/s1LWJy64whIz

I got bored of typing


i relate a lot to the ordering everything online so you could avoid talking to people/cashiers etc thing

when i was a hopeless neet i'd do shit like that a lot. i'd avoid certain restaurants so i wouldn't have to explain my order or get it specialized in any way. anywhere like subway where i'd want to build my sub i just skipped because i didn't want that interaction. it's like when you avoid face to face human interaction for that long you become socially fearful or something

now i work in IT which you'd expect to be nerdland (and it can be) but you have to talk to people a lot. i have to work alongside people, i have to communicate well with end users, customers, clients etc. i used to be afraid of making a fucking phone call, had to get over that real fast.

just getting yourself out in the world and experiencing things will make you open up so much socially and just have a healthier mentality and personality

i really haven't felt this kind of personal independence before that i've felt in the last year. it's that small growing feeling that i'm really starting to make it, when i really REALLY doubted i ever was going to "make it" a few years ago. i had fucking nothing going for me 3-4 years ago, now i have a job i love in a field i love where i'm treated well and have already advanced my position, have my own income, my own vehicle, my own bills to pay... i'm not afraid to go out and do my own thing anymore, i'm not afraid to communicate with the world in person anymore

i used to be really scared of asking people questions. i didn't want to bother them. it wasn't long before i realized i wasn't going to make it doing that and i started asking any question i had. it carried over from work into all aspects of my life and it's been so beneficial. and unless you just have no situational awareness, people don't mind being asked questions at all for the most part. most people like the feeling of their expertise in something being needed

we're all always going to battle our own demons but i've come a great distance just from putting myself out there and trying something on a whim
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#15 Ayrasaurus

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Posted 05 May 2016 - 07:41 AM


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#16 Thaya

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Posted 05 May 2016 - 09:18 AM

idk

i've reached all the same conclusions over the past few years but via different routes. my social circle didn't really expand in the process, but i guess i was never really a loner either as 3 close friends + their friends/family is quite a big group.

imo everyone has his own path. there's no such thing as 'being late' or doing something 'right' (or 'wrong') with your life, there's just... what you do
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#17 Thaya

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Posted 05 May 2016 - 09:29 AM

if you feel like going to yoga classes would be the right choice, then just do it

it doesn't even matter if you succeed or not. the act itself will bring you so much joy, the sense of 'completeness' due to doing the thing you're thinking about (i call that harmony) alone will make it worth it
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#18 Lloix

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 01:00 AM

Canadian road trips/innawoods weekends with your best friends is the greatest way to use your time. Can't wait for mamorial day with just bros on the coast of maine. Those trips do get watered down whenever the girls show up.
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#19 Lloix

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 01:02 AM

like, if you come to russia and get all of your shit stolen or whatever, hit me up


people i would hang out with from OT: everyone

faggots i would hang out with from OT: thaya
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#20 Thaya

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Posted 06 May 2016 - 05:01 AM

hater man
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