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dont fuck this up america


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#1 Bloodriot

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Posted 06 November 2012 - 11:53 PM

dont fuck this up
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#2 Sykeasaurus

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 12:27 AM

Reminder the electoral college exists and it makes individual voters less powerful, if you ask me.

bk said:

I used to beat off alot, and fail all my classes


Insight said:

I figured he's a phony but I was secretly hoping to get pounded by someone famous.

View PostTw1zle, on 07 August 2011 - 11:05 PM, said:

i wasnt aware that america was a country

i guess we learn things every day

#3 Raux

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 12:32 AM

View PostSykeasaurus, on 07 November 2012 - 12:27 AM, said:

Reminder the electoral college exists and it makes individual voters less powerful, if you ask me.

good/bad, etc. let's not talk about it.
i am #83

also i fucked a lesbian

also i fought a ninja in a bar and made him piss himself

raux

#4 Sykeasaurus

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 12:43 AM

It blows dude.  Let's just remove it.

bk said:

I used to beat off alot, and fail all my classes


Insight said:

I figured he's a phony but I was secretly hoping to get pounded by someone famous.

View PostTw1zle, on 07 August 2011 - 11:05 PM, said:

i wasnt aware that america was a country

i guess we learn things every day

#5 breadstik

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 01:47 AM

just saw this somewhere. wish it was legit

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictio
nary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

--------------------

13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

-----------------

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

---------------

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

#6 shakeweightx

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 02:27 AM

didnt even register like a boss
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#7 Buglamp

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 02:28 AM

Didn't vote 'cause my vote doesn't count 'cause I don't live in Ohio.


I like the idea of Cascadia or just selling Texas to Mexico for the hilarity that would be the stereotypical Texan's response to becoming a Mexican.

#8 Hobbeś

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 02:45 AM

I like that I know people who voted when they don't know anything about either candidate other than there is a (D) or (\R) by their name.

Or in my dad's case, to "get Osama out of office hehehe [xD]"

#9 Zoness

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 02:48 AM

View PostBuglamp, on 07 November 2012 - 02:28 AM, said:

Didn't vote 'cause my vote doesn't count 'cause I don't live in Ohio.


I like the idea of Cascadia or just selling Texas to Mexico for the hilarity that would be the stereotypical Texan's response to becoming a Mexican.
sell texas to mexico so texas can declare independence and get annexed by the USA?

#10 Breadstic

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 02:53 AM

apparently voting doesn't matter so im not voting REGARDLESS

#11 bareblar03

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 03:27 AM

maybe someone should tell lousiana that Romney wants to cut FEMA

62.8% wtf is that shit


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#12 conradspade

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 03:29 AM

i really everyone who can vote, did vote.




if you don't like obama and romney, at least vote for gary johnson to give him the 5% so we might finally be able to break this fucking two party only bs.

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#13 Covlol

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 03:39 AM

I know nothing about either candidates, so I did not vote.
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Lvl 1 Dk Legend Covlol

#14 Kawklee

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 03:49 AM

View PostCovlol, on 07 November 2012 - 03:39 AM, said:

I know nothing about either candidates, so I did not vote.

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#15 Buglamp

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 03:58 AM

View Postconradspade, on 07 November 2012 - 03:29 AM, said:

i really everyone who can vote, did vote.




if you don't like obama and romney, at least vote for gary johnson to give him the 5% so we might finally be able to break this fucking two party only bs.

Hey I've got a joke for you

Spoiler


#16 AwesoMegAmazing

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 03:59 AM

I voted for Romney.

View PostDuckers, on 09 February 2011 - 04:05 PM, said:

I eat McDonalds every day

View PostDuckers, on 12 June 2012 - 07:44 AM, said:

Can't ever really go wrong with McDonalds.

View PostDuckers, on 08 August 2012 - 12:25 AM, said:

Get that girl a Happy Meal and she will never leave you.

#17 miloMonkey

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 04:03 AM

He's a mormon :S

#18 Buglamp

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 04:06 AM

vael is lying anyway

#19 kragathore

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 04:26 AM

NORTH CAROLINA IS RELEVANT WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

republican again but FUCK IT OMG ATTENTION
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#20 Fazzmania

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Posted 07 November 2012 - 04:27 AM

View PostAwesoMegAmazing, on 07 November 2012 - 03:59 AM, said:

I voted for Romney.

we get enough brainwashed idiocy from you to figure that out without your post, i think.
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