True Hollywood Story
Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:43 AM
Hiding the fact that I got Wrathful Gladiator from all of you plebes and banging Hydra wasn't an easy thing to do. The decision I made was fraught with self-inflicted humiliation, shame and, finally, satisfaction. Something that a lot of you don't know about me is that, despite(and possibly because of) my outwardly-macho mystique, I am extremely gay. I live in San Francisco & work part-time at Whole Foods where I advise customers on their nutrition and give them fitness advice/therapeutic massages. I won't tell you about my other job because I don't want it ruining my chances at an honest relationship with Ryan
So anyway, there I was towards the end of Season 8 - at the top of the world and helping Ming edit that LiveJournal he had on GameRiot. With a fast approaching R1 title, all the talk in my circles was about who was better: me or Hydra. At first, being very insecure and literally homosexual, this bothered me. Naturally, I wanted to be the best. Then I saw his picture; and just like that it wasn't about being better than Ryan 'Hydra' van Buiten; it was all about finding my way into Ryan's van Butten, if you know what I mean.
I saw him in passing at a few events. I always loved that thing he did with his tongue when he was going(and getting me) really hard. To me, it was like James Bond had a kid with Talbadar if Talbadar was good. That sexy accent, his flowing locks, his quick dispels... he was just so... fit. Back then I weighed 130 pounds and my complexion was just, like, _so_ awful - think Neilyo circa 2008.. God, it was awful. I remember thinking to myself, "there's no way I'm going to swoon Ryan with my physique in this condition."
We spoke momentarily, I tried to be macho. His eyes disarmed me and I had to have him. So I did what any half-gender-confused elitist teenage nerd would do in my situation: I started recording myself lifting weights and posting the videos on YouTube hoping to get his attention. I'd lay down and start benching my max(the bar), I'd pump it up and down and I just wanted to have him under me and see the look in his eyes when he realized there wouldn't be any Rogue or Mage peels for the pounding he was about to receive.
A few montages of me lifting weights later, I was ready. I bought a box of mustard flavoured condoms which I heard Europeans were really wild about, and headed to a place where I knew he'd be. There he was, talking to some forgettable boy with bad teeth. That's when he said it. "I just don't know if I could date another Rank 1."
I was stunned without a trinket. I immediately headed home and took all the precautions I needed to take in order to hide my Wrathful Gladiator title away forevermore. I was ashamed. I was so angry at myself for being so small, and so gay. I wanted to prove myself. I wanted to prove a gay guy could heal as well as anybody. I wanted the world to recognize my achievement and I was throwing it away for a cute English boy in a cardigan. I wanted to bang Hydra. The seasons rolled over, I took the fall and everyone made fun of me and I took out all my frustrations at the gym. I waited a few weeks for the dust to settle and I went to meet him again.
This time, I wouldn't take no for an answer - and I didn't. I don't know how to put this in a way that is acceptable on these forums. Let's just say I rolled need on everything. But we just broke up, and now I'm sharing this story here. I am truly a Wrathful Gladiator, and now the whole world knows. You guys were all so mean to me but really I was the best the whole time, while you guys were not. Oh yeah, and Hydra was gay with me for like 3 seasons.
That is all.
Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:44 AM
Edited by Fluffywrath, 15 January 2012 - 09:52 PM.
Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:54 AM
Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:58 AM
1 picture says more than a thousand words.
Posted 15 January 2012 - 10:01 AM
1 picture says more than a thousand words.
that one only said 9
Posted 15 January 2012 - 10:09 AM
Oh shit guys NAO organizer in here..
What ever worthless crap you do
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:05 AM
[10:18:58] [W From] [85:Mythíc]: you dont sit multi glads, you suck their balls and thank them after
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:22 AM
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:23 AM
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:28 AM
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:31 AM
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:36 AM
Got bored after the first paragraph.
Posted 15 January 2012 - 11:46 AM
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